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Aimee Mann "Mr Harris" |
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Back at the DJ. I started writing something the other day on the upstairs computer, but a quarter way into the second paragraph I decided Jeopardy! was more worth my time. That's right, I ditched y'all for a computer game. Pretty soon I'll be ditching the DJ for worse vices such as Star Trek conventions or charity work. Perish that thought!
But woo, anyway, I am back, and I'm doing well despite another pedestrian-paced week full of the usual Chipain's glitz and Lemont landmark hitting. Thing is, I fucking love making a lot of money for myself... "a lot" being relative, of course (to the, oh, zero dollars I made for myself in the workplace at any earlier time in my life). There's no doubt I've missed out on a lot of things during my summer stint in Lemont because of all the working I've done... and also for some reason this summer I've holed myself up more than ever, and I've hung out with the same few friends for the most part. It makes me sad to think I've given a nonchalant cold shoulder to a lot of people... but at the same time I figure we're all moving on in our own strange ways. Even stranger is that I think I'm moving on in ways I don't even realize... and that says a lot given all the monotonous introspection I do in my spare time. I guess what I mean is... I've underestimated how much my priorities have changed and are changing. The things I cling to for security's sake haven't changed, but my priorities have changed. Perhaps it's now more than ever I feel it's time to own myself and "get out there" and be all that I'm supposed to be. Retreating to safety feels like a worse and worse idea every time I think about it. I'm being pretty vague here, and that's probably because I'm thinking about all of this in general terms without much idea of how to actually apply it to how I'm going to be living my life... but I don't know, it may not be a terrible idea to not come back to Lemont for the summer after awhile. It's so hard to want to do that though... I just wish I had good enough friends at school... a sense of, well, security at school. I lived my life at Iowa waiting for another week to roll by so that "the end" would get nearer. I just don't want to live like that anymore. I was talking about it with Kinzy the other day... and I guess I just need to put myself out on both the social and professional scene some more. The Daily Iowan is a good step in the right direction... I'm glad I forced myself to climb aboard that thing. But anyway, quick review of what's been happening... before I stream-of-conscious this fucker into the ground.
And before I do review, let me remind you... I actually am enjoying myself, and I (gasp) do enjoy myself at Iowa a lot of the time. I think in the end I just have an underlying insecurity about where the hell my future is heading. It seems hard to become a superstar, basically. Who knows though, I can be a superstar in whatever I do, whether it be improvisational acting or... working at Chipain's for the rest of my life. There's no sense thinking there's a utopian end of the tunnel to wait anxiously for when it comes to a career or anything else for that matter... you just have to love how scary, sexily dark, and funny the tunnel itself is. And so I'm taking in that view and hopefully wearing my party dress about it.
Now seriously, some review. Earlier this week I went to Katie Erk's house, and there was a shitload of random folk there as I suspected there would be. Darius was probably the most random of them all, and I loved him just like I loved all the other people there... Jeanine, Adam, Katie, and Sam Pickering. There was some grueling Double Dragon action going down... I've never seen "A" and "B" buttons squished so dramatically in all my life. Just as the group was beginning to estimate that Kaylin and Elyse weren't going to show up, they walked into Katie Erk's basement. Oh how I missed them! Kaylin was looking radiant, and Elyse was all her shimmery self minus the cold she had. After that, Monica arrived, and before long she, Elyse, and I began a conversation that probably would've gone on till dawn had Elyse not had to go. Monica and I continued talking about worldly issues such as Bjork, Madonna, and Terry Redford. Katie asked us to leave around 1:45, so Monica and I took our business to White Castle after I spent, oh, forever trying to dig out my lost wallet from Katie's couch where it had fallen through the cracks and into China. At White Castle, Monica and I caught up... which was great and very necessary. Two friends that are both hermits rarely find opportunity to get to hang out a lot. Well, I'm a hermit anyway. It ended at some ridiculous hour like 5:30 AM... the sun seriously rose over White Castle. I guess you could say, the best part of waking up... is Sliders in your cup. I'd hate to get all sunsets-are-amazing on y'all, but there were some terrific pink clouds in the sky when Monica and I parted ways. They made a nice backdrop for the Kelly Clarkson radio hits I was inevitably listening to on the way home. Kelly Clarkson is so my radio buddy for this summer. Sure she's had two songs... I don't even care, we are fucking buds now. Actually, radio this summer hasn't been abysmal as far as the Top 40 goes, though I guess there's been better. I've been all up in the remix of Mariah's "We Belong Together" lately... and I'm happy about it because for some reason I root for Mariah. Someone like her did not deserve the huge-ass backlash that she got a couple years ago. Couldn't we have reserved that for someone despicable like Christina Aguilera? Also, I'm on the outs with "Don't Cha"... the sass is wearing thin on me. "Hollaback Girl" I like in remixed form... mostly it's just fun to sing along to. Don't even get me started on that queer-ass, fucking ADD shit called "Don't Phunk With My Heart." Black Eyed Peas, you were almost fine before you let Fergie come into all of our lives... now look what you've done. And of course Missy's "Lose Control" is the ghetto-fab ass-shaker we've all been dying to hear for months now. We needed a new "Lose My Breath" so desperately. There Missy was, descended from the heavens at the right hand of Timbaland. I'm on the fence about buying her new album... I've heard the whole thing, and a lot of it didn't work for me. I like the Slick Rick track, and I like the "Mommy" song (haha, me and things called "Mommy." I love myself).
And hos, can you believe I'm going to the Aimee Mann concert tomorrow? Rachel and I are all suited up about it. Apparently Aimee takes time after shows to sign things and take pictures... so Rachel's bringing a camera, and I'm bringing the underwear I'll inevitably be wetting and hopefully a cd booklet or something. The show is at Navy Pier, so that means Rachel and I will arrive hours in advance, probably spend money on trinket-ass shit we'll never use again in our lives, and get lost in trying to find the auditorium. I think there should be a guest cameo at the show from Liz Phair... she should be searching the crowd for a certain fan of hers she didn't get to hang out with long enough. Pretty soon Madonna and Alanis Morissette will fly in, and it'll be a jam session. Madonna will play drums, and Lourdes will play tambourine. I'll be called up onstage to do an improvisational skit during the festivities, and then the ghost of Gilda Radner will appear next to me, and we will have to reenact classic 70s SNL skits so well that history books will be rewritten to say that I was in the skits originally. And it all started with a lady called Mann.
And also within the next few weeks I better be able to see Feej's play. I am shitty when it comes to directions, but I will direct my lost ass to Naperville by my lonesome if I have to in order to see this production. I love the hell out of Feej. She is being such a soldier in attending that New York acting school. I bet she is what Beyonce is referring to in that song. "Soldier," that is. Feej is so talented and so funny and so... impeccably herself. I hope her play does a good job at matching her level of talent.
The last two weeks of work are approaching... how sad it will be to depart from the girlz there. Then again, how wonderful it will be to jump back into my real life again at Iowa where I don't feel three years older than the rest of the Lemont teenage population. I do love my people in Lemont... but I love the possibility in Iowa more. I just need to accept that possibility without scaring myself into seclusion about it. Hopefully before I go back to all that, I can meet up with more people from L-Town's past who need to foxtrot with me once again. Also, it is goddamn hot in this computer room, so I better sign off before I melt into beautiful nothingness.
Alrighty, I am still so, SO in love with y'all... thanks for reading and letting me unwind enough till I rock again. Appreciate your hearing and listening and reciprocating oh so much. No one deserves to be isolated during such a crossroad in life, and I'm thankful cool cats like y'all can help me out that way. I am so there for you as well; you've got a BFF in me.
Porch-swinging for three more weeks... starry-eyed about it with you, I hope. Xoxo,
Louis
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