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Alanis Morissette "Mary Jane" |
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Hey there, fellow pimps and pimpstresses... I'm totally psyched I'm finally back at the DJ but at the same time a bit under the gun because (once again) homework is happening all around me. I'm stressing about quite a bit... another paper for Acting class, a test in Earth History on Thursday, and revisions on my Cult Hist paper are all on the horizon. The view isn't that hot. However, I do have some tremendous news... it turns out that the grades for the last Cult Hist test were misrecorded... like, the scores for the first test's multiple choice section were recorded again as the grade for THIS test... which means that the grade I received was completely inaccurate. Turns out I actually got a 95% on the multiple choice section (a full 45% more than what I had been told I received), and so my final grade on the Cult Hist test was actually a 140 out of 150, which is, oh yes, a motherfucking A. That's a lot better than the ummm, F I thought I received. Can you even believe that? Yes, I'm talking about the same test I was absolutely wretched about last entry... the one that was making me consider my status as a journalism major. I called Gloria to tell her the news, and she just laughed at how ridiculous it all was. Speaking of ole G-Lo, I got two packages in the mail today from her... both were a mean combo of candies and socks. Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, the socks are fluffy and Kohls-riffic while the candies are... already gone. Face it, fat-ass, you would've eaten them too.
Alright, I'm making the decision to just let other homework go by the wayside for now... it's a little difficult to do that, but God, I cannot stand letting this DJ go un-updated (un-fed!) for so long. This journal is not motherfucking Terri Schiavo. The feeding tube will stay in, yo. I'm exhaling and pounding this keyboard to the tune of Jagged Little Pill now playing in the CD-ROM. I surprisingly don't listen to this cd very often. As a matter of fact, I listen to it least out of all of Alanis' albums. I was compelled to go and dig it out again because there was this wonderful comment about "Not the Doctor" on Alanis' website... something about playing the doctor in a relationship that becomes quickly one-sided... one side seeks only professional answers to his problems while the "doctor" seeks genuine friendship in someone he cares about. Loved that anecdote, made me think twice about the song. It was definitely reassuring to read that comment after all the previous comments on the page were about shit like "I def did not understand this song when I bout the cd in 4th grade but now i em in the 7th grade and i luv it!!!!"
Anyway, how about some good old fashioned review while we're kicking back? Right, like I'd even stop if you objected. Alright, well... this week has been a big step in what I'd call the right direction. I don't know what happened, but suddenly like... half a dozen gay males randomly facebook-friended me... and I've even chatted with them all. Did I accidentally broadcast somewhere in front of the university that I'm gay? Whatever, it's been great to say "what's up" to all these new gay folk. Some of them are particularly cute. Even went so far as to go on a walk with this guy Josh around by the river late at night. That was pretty nice... wouldn't say he's "my type" per se, but he's a sociable dude. Not only that, he seemed to know every gay person I've ever met at the University of Iowa. Or anywhere. Wouldn't that have been something if he even had a file on like... Mike Farnham or any other random gay person from my homelife. Whatever happens with all these happy homosexuals, I think we can all agree this is a good thing for me. I'm not even saying I'm looking for a relationship, because really... I don't think I am, but it sure is great to think, "Oh wow, here are the people that I hoped to run into when I went to college." I mean... I guess running into a couple straight guys here or there wouldn't be dreadful. As long as they were up for fucking other men.
Much more happened this weekend, however. On Friday, I ran out of things to do pretty quickly after visiting Alyssa at Quizno's... I played a lot of Scrabble Blast online and eventually went to Bart's room with Alyssa for a viewing of Big Fish. I thought it was a really pretty but unsatisfying, lame movie overall... not to mention it has my favorite blatant-mention-of-the-movie-title that I can think of: "And you were a VERY BIG FISH." It's probably only matched by Kirsten Dunst's little petulent, emo cooing of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" in the movie of the same name. How could you not shake your head at that line? Anyway, low-key Friday night... fine by me. On Saturday, I woke up bright and late at 1:15, rolled around in bed while Bravo entertained me, stepped outside at like 2 something to have Alyssa ask me if I wanted to go to the mall in Coralville. Oh my God. I fucking love malls. Now that I think about it, I'm one of the most Americanized people I know. I'm all about big holiday season shopping, American food, pop culture, bullshit, American Gladiators, everything, just everything. I went to the mall with a big group of fun-loving people... Alyssa, Patch, Meghan, other Alyssa, Danny, Colin, Therese, and Molly Jessup. Totally fun... I feel like I haven't shown here how much I love all these guys. They're all laid back and sarcastic and witty and flavorful. Just the right people you want to go to the mall with (along with the P-Club Allstars, of course...). I think I thought I was going to get a new hairbrush and some mousse, but I bargained with myself and said I'd just go to Osco when I got home. Sure forgot about that. I did lasso up some scrumptious Panera while I was at the mall though... Alyssa got some too, which was what God intended. I also got a grand total of six samples altogether from the Chinese and Japanese restaurants. The masterminds at Sanku didn't even see me coming. The guy giving samples there didn't seem to mind handing me toothpick after toothpick chock full of chicken teriyaki... as a matter of fact, I think he just liked having the opportunity to say "Halt!" to anyone who would listen. I was actually three seconds from buying a $6.99 Cathy Dennis cd at FYE, but then I realized that was about all the money I had. Guess my "All Night Long (Touch Me)" 24-hour rave will have to wait. Also chatted it up on the phone with Rachel while I browsed places. I guess she's going to prom with Mike Bunce... and you know what, that's fucking cool. He's nothing short of super-swell. A man's man. He should know that if he doesn't already. Let's see... I also called Phil while I was at the mall to confirm our plans for hanging out that night (can you even believe we're hanging out not... three weeks after wondering if we'd ever speak again?). We originally wanted to go to Studio 13, the club I got rejected from the previous Saturday, but I opted for badminton in the Field House because it was free that night. That got set up for 10:30. Phil, of course, showed up late to Currier because he had to watch the rest of a movie. Just guess what it was. Guess. That's right: Center Stage. I'd have bludgeoned the bastard if I had a candlestick handy. We walked to the Fieldhouse... where begins the whackest part of my weekend.
We walked at fairly brisk pace because Phil explodes if he doesn't constantly move at 55 MPH (that's right, like Speed). Conversation was sort of strange... a couple times there was miscommunication and he was offended or something. Or he'd pipe in with something off-the-cuff and imply that I had covert sexual intention with him. Or maybe he was just asking? I don't even know. It's always a clusterfuck when it comes to Phil. We got to the Fieldhouse, and apparently the Vietnamese National Team had taken house on the badminton courts, because not only was every court full, but every court was dominated by Asians. Because we got the shaft there, we decided to try our luck with volleyball. That wouldn't have been a terrible idea if the people we were playing weren't the most ferocious, muscular volleyball players this side of Malibu. We had to rotate in with other people to be able to play, and before we went onto the court, I called Sarah G on her cell-phone to tell her that I was going to be killed by a death-ray, meteorite volleyball and that we better say our goodbyes now. I just couldn't believe I was about to play SPIKE-OR-DIE volleyball... I thought graduating from middle school would've ended all that. Well, we got onto the court, and I didn't get much opportunity to hit the ball, but I fared pretty well for the most part. This isn't to say there weren't people on the other team that dominated our asses, but I was pretty proud of myself. Phil did his part too... his overhand serve was the best (funniest). Picture if you will someone throwing a volleyball in the air, cowering for a second, and then swatting at it like it was a nuisance butterfly. There you have the serve. I explained that one to my brother Mark over the phone, he seemed pretty impressed. After the V-Ball game, we had to shake hands with the other team, and by that time, I was so overcome with sarcasm about the ridiculousness of this whole situation that I shook the hand of the biggest guy on the other team and said, "Hey, good game, sorry I overpowered you." I bet he didn't even know he had tickets to the gunshow. After that, Phil and I finally scored a badminton court... we had to play doubles against a couple frisky girls in order to get the court, but once they left, it was ours alone. We played for two and a half hours... and Phil is the kind of person that makes me get really cocky about winning. A few favorite comments of mine as Phil lost points: (Phil falls down trying to hit the birdie) "Have a seat." (Phil hits me an easy lob that I slam back) "That was pretty easy to spank, Phil, are we sure it wasn't your mom?" And lastly, "Phil, I am pummeling your ass right now." Phil: "Yeah, pummeling my ass on the COURT is the closest you'll ever get to actually pummeling my ass." Me: "You're right, I'll save the real thing for your dad." It was great to have some friendly competition... I'd been dying to play badminton for months. Phil asked me if I wanted to see a movie back at the dorms, so I complied... we went to my room, went on Facebook, and watched Mean Girls. I'll have you all know that Phil changed his favorite Mean Girls quote from the pretty-lame Caesar speech to the "Kevin G" rap. Sigh. Thank God I was there to set him straight. He watched the movie from the vacant bed in my room, and I watched it from my bed. It got to be like 3:30 AM when the movie ended, so he asked if he could sleep over, and I didn't care, so I said sure. We were about to go to sleep, and then he started complaining it was cold over on his side of the room, so he asked if he could sleep in my bed with me. This is a repeat performance of last October when a similar occurrence happened in his room. I said it was alright... and I don't know how I feel about me saying that. Anyhoo, he came over, layed down with his head at the other side of the bed, and we chatted like that for awhile. It became a roundabout Q & A session: "Well Phil, you should really cut the bullshit and just get a handjob from someone instead of this makeout crap you always pull." "Louis, you should really hook up with this guy." "Where are all the cool gay people, Phil? I can't find them." "Uggh that guy is TOO faggy." "Faggy plus he lacks personality." "YES." Hope that was all riveting to you. The obligatory, stupid boy stuff came up as well... it reminded me of back when I'd chat with my cousins Mike and Drew about stupid-ass guy shit. Phil couldn't move around comfortably or something on his side of the bed, so he decided to lay the way I was laying, head near my head, feet near my feet. It was one of those nights where you're trying to sleep in the midst of spooning/being spooned while the other person is laying on your arm. It was a strange, spooneriffic, short night, filled with comments like "I know that's your penis touching me" and "You just hit my balls." The stuff torrid affairs are made of. We went to Burge in the morning and then parted ways. I worked on my scene for Acting class the rest of the day and then performed it on Monday to favorable reviews... though I think Meagan and I have both performed better before. And that's the story so far, y'all.
I've got to get my application in for the Arts section of The Daily Iowan this week as well. Argh, SO have to write my one-page proposal of what I can contribute to the paper. Hopefully they'll select me... I mean, who is better at writing career retrospectives of Aimee Mann than me? I expect that task to be my only function at the paper. It's called journalistic integrity, and I've got a shitload of it, hos.
I must be heading to bed because I have Acting at 10 tomorrow. It's going to be a big day... studying for my Earth History test, revising that Cult Hist paper, finishing up Jazz work... and how about I get on the ball and call back a few Lemont jobs? I do plan on working this summer, don't I? Ugggh. Very frustrating. Seems inevitable that I will soon have a date with an application to Chipain's. Say it isn't so, God.
Call this the by-the-book entry where I outline current events as opposed to current mindset. I'm feeling really good, actually, even occupied (fucking imagine that!). Lots of cool stuff is abounding, and Iowa life seems to be more alive than ever. As of today, I have exactly four weeks before summer vacation starts. It's definitely time to live it up during the homestretch like it's going to be sunny forever. Hope you're basking in this last glowing, very ridiculous month of the schoolyear... we should plan to hit Starbucks or the mall over the summer. Or how about we fucking organize some Laser Tag? Mmmm, I am so ready to pick a codename... it'd be "Your Stepdad." It says on the gun when you get hit: "You've been hit by: Your Stepdad." In other words, it's too good. Once again, I love you guys more and more and more every time I sit down to chat. Your company never gets old, your presence is always felt, and your support is always appreciated... hope you feel that I am just as there for you, just as present, listening, supportive, badass, and loving. Enjoy yourselves, guys, I'll be back for more soon.
Keep on pushing that love over the borderline, xoxo,
Louis.
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