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PJ Harvey "The Life and Death of Mr. Badmouth" |
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Hey there, I'm finally back, yo. I feel like it's been awhile... what was the last day I updated, Saturday? That's so like me, isn't it? Well, anyway, I'm back, I'm feeling too overwhelmed by a stupid fucking speech I have to give on Friday, and so I decided to kick back and give the DJ a heads-up. I feel so fed up with school right now... maybe it's just Speaking and Reading class actually, but God... it's really time for a month break. I haven't looked this forward to Christmas in fucking years. My mom called me and was all "I think you are just gonna get gift certificates because shit, you are WHACK" (yes, she said that verbatim)... but I have no problem with gift certificates, for real... as a matter of fact, gift certificates are better than money, because I'd be obligated to save up any regular money I got (and we all know that's against my religion). I look forward to just...lounging around on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day and even more than that I look forward to hanging with all the L-town compadres like college doesn't even exist. For some reason I am in dire need of escape from this whole town... and soon I will be like Sinead O'Connor in the "No Man's Woman" video where she tears off the veil, flees the chapel, and then runs into the ocean or something.
The past few days have been pretty productive...I definitely completed my Roman lit paper and my extra credit for Speaking and Reading, so that's worth a roof raising. Also, today I decided to be big and go with Maggie and Kinzy to the GLBTAU meeting (gays/lesbians/bisexual/transgender/allied union) just to see if there was anything supercool happening there. I really didn't know what to expect. I was thinking either 1) a disco with lots of late 70s grooves happening, perhaps there would even be a dance-off... or 2) lots of snobbish, self-consciously/perfectly dressed queers that talk down their noses and shoot off sardonic observations about lesser-dressed people. Unfortunately, it was neither of the above. It was pretty interesting though...though basically it was a typical "sit in chairs, eat pizza, and almost be casual" kind of meeting. The thing that made the event most memorable, however...was how downbeat the meeting was. Maybe I got the wrong impression of these meetings before... but the big topic of debate was seriously "How are you going to deal with going home over Christmas break?" That took me by surprise because...frankly...I cannot WAIT to go home and chill out. Apparently I'm a minority in that respect, because most of the gay people in the room said things like "I'm hiding out a lot" and "I have escapes planned for when I go to Christmas dinner." Jesus Christ! I guess I should feel super-lucky to have family and friends that aren't dipshits, and I do...but more than that, I just felt incredibly sad for these people who are so used to detaching themselves from their homefront that they plan in advance what they're going to do. One guy brought up how when he goes home he has to take all the pride stickers off his bags so that he doesn't cause a stir upon arriving. Ugggh, what an awful way to have to live... being yourself only selectively and just settling with seclusion because things will never change with ignorant people. I guess I was expecting more of a celebration of queerness during the meeting... but I really got the opposite... one person brought up actually wanting to go home, and then I commented as well, saying something like "Basically I've got the most kickass friends I can think of, and I can't wait to go home and party it up with them." But after offering that I felt awkward because the leader of the discussion went right back to talking about how difficult going home can be. I think it's different from me than for most gay people because I think I'm just used to being upfront and honest and un-secretive when it comes to how I'm feeling and what I'm going through. I think it's a shame more people can't just realize that by being honest they humanize themselves to others. I understand some people won't understand and will probably be ignorant...but I just felt like there was more hope than what the meeting portrayed. Maybe I'm misinterpreting, but there was an underlying sadness to a lot of the meeting... I left the meeting with my homegirls and my handout on "Possible ways to cope with going home for the holiday break" and I guess the biggest thing I learned in the meeting was what I've suspected all along: that I have it fucking nice.
I'm feeling really pent-up, like there's really something I'm supposed to be getting off my chest... well here's one thing, somebody reported to a building official that Todd's been involved with drugs or something. I'm not going to get excited about him possibly getting the boot again, because the letdown of it not happening would surely break me. Have to say, living with Todd has actually been pretty reasonable lately...despite a friend of his coming in here not a couple hours ago and asking me, without greeting me, "I have a question for you. Do you drink?" "No." "Do you smoke?" "No." "Do you do drugs?" Yeah, fucker, I've got a meth lab right inside this desk. He was condescending about it, which was really cool, nothing like revisiting an attitude you generally see in high school sophomores. Todd told me he's coming to see me in the Best of No Shame this weekend...he said to me, "Lindsay came up to me and says...'Did you know your roommate is the funniest person at No Shame?' So I'm going." Todd was surprisingly complimentary, and that struck me kind of funny, but then I realized he was high and drunk, so the ends suddenly met there. There will probably be a huge crowd for No Shame this Friday, so I'm wishing and hoping for a big response once again. The big objective this time is for someone to hurl panties at me from the audience. It's really about time I become Tom Jones.
St. Nick's Day was on the 6th, and I feared I was going to be left out of the stocking-stuffing festivities at the Virtel house, but oh no, Gloria Virtel works in mysterious ways. She sent me a card in the mail that arrived right on the 6th. There was a beautiful twenty dollar bill inside, and oh yeah, the card was Gloria-tastic as hell. There were mice decorating a Christmas tree and everything. She signed it "The Christmas Elf"... and I'm almost positive it doesn't get cuter than that. I don't know what I'm going to spend the victory money on. Most likely it will go to my favorite charity (Starbucks). I'll save it for Starbucks near Lemont, where I'm sure they'll make my frappuccino/white chocolate mocha correctly. Too bad Rachel won't be home for the first two weeks of break...now who the hell will I harass at Subway? Beaver? Karilyn? Patrick? No, Patrick I will simply hit up for sex. The harassment will be mutual there.
Anyway, this entry was to make up for my laziness and general lameassness for not posting in so long. Expect more detailed, more fun, more scandalous entries in the coming week, when all I have to worry about are finals (two out of the four will be done with on Monday). Look forward to that. Love you guys so so so much, call me sometime, we'll do lunch and I'll do your mom. Just like old times. Later, beautiful people,
Xoxo, your kickass kommandant,
Louis.
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