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Hello there, everyone. This last week has been an accumulation of stress for a few reasons, and that's what makes it surprising that I haven't updated since Friday. Everyday since Wisconsin I've been doing my usual cosmopolitan thang and hanging out with anyone and everyone...hopefully getting to all the cool kids before I move in three motherfucking days. I woke up today realizing I still hadn't registered for the draft and that I still had a monologue to memorize and a voter registration card to fill out and a computer to figure out and a future ulcer to tame...which in turn made me feel more stressed out. But as of this moment I'm pretty lax, and so here we go.
Monica came back from Africa with hair borrowed straight from Alicia Keys. She had a "Kwanzaa" party at her pad, and everyone I can think of was there and probably wearing some sort of tribal garment. Two times in a row now I've forgotten to take home from Monica's the tapes Mrs. Moran bought for me...needless to say, I feel like a choad. Monica had stories about Africa and drinking and her "boyfriend Paul" (it still isn't conclusive that he's really real...I'm going to need fingerprints). Sometime this week maybe I can catch up with Monica and go shopping...that is if the stress-machine-of-college doesn't have its way with me. Oh well, I digress...
Yesterday, I went with nine of my closest friends to Portillo's on Butterfield Road...to meet up with none other than the infamous Todd Schwartz, my Iowa roommate. We were there for awhile before he showed up, and so that meant the ten of us kept a steady eye on the revolving door, guessing at which lucky Portillo's patron was Todd. When the actual Todd strolled in...have to say, he defied expectations. Todd is a dark, shadowy kind of guy with really light eyes. And he's little. He also doesn't seem gay, so I don't know what that means. Well, we hung out with Todd for awhile (by "hung out" I meant "followed"... Todd had some crazy urge to run to Best Buy and so Elyse, Rachel, and I all followed him there. Todd proceeded to befriend every store worker in sight, even getting checked out by the very-gay cashier who couldn't stop giggling). Eventually the Todd-fest came to end and the majority of us headed to Starbucks on 75th, where a whole slew of mofos awaited. After taking pictures with all of them and dropping Rachel off, we went to Amanda's house and watched The Best of Will Ferrell...followed by Andy, Feej, Sarah, Kimmie, and I trekking to Feej's house to watch the complicated, searing drama Win A Date With Tad Hamilton. There was still more to be done after that, so Sarah, Kimmie, Andy, and I went to 7-11 and got (gasp) our last slurpees together. Kaylin had us over for awhile after that...and at 1:30, my evening was complete...of course I had to say goodbye to my Sarah Geee...I did it cheesily, but oh well, now she's at UIC and probably already kicking ass.
Here comes the part of this entry that I've been determined to write for awhile now...the individualized deadjournal postcards to all those who deserve to hear something from me...and as I've stated before (and umm so has Madonna), whether it's heaven or hell, I'm gonna be living to tell. And here comes the telling in no particular order:
Elyse- You are awesome. I feel I've earned a lot of self-respect and confidence through my connecting with you. You and I are some sort of weird kindred spirits...our sarcasm and our humor and our outlooks all interlock, and though we haven't hung out this summer as much as I guessed we would, I have so far had the time of life being able to kick back with you. I love you, you rockstar you.
Kimmie- You are delicious. The way you work your Kimmie voodoo is infectious. You're the closest friend I have to Kylie Minogue... which makes you one of the most fun people I know...TCBY won't be the same. I love you, smack some flava into DePaul for me.
Katie Erk- You are cray-zee, yo. One thing I've never forgotten is how much I can tell you are there to listen. You care so much about your friends, and Katie, it is impossible not to care about you. You're yourself and always, always, lovable. I love you, do beat Double Dragon for me.
Corey- You are irreplaceable. It's been noted that you're the opposite of me in a lot of ways...and what's great about that is how we always manage to find the same unique common ground in our passions for the arts, for learning, for understanding, and for being open-hearted. Our discussions will always mean the world to me...and as you have said before, through all our changing throughotu high school, "we are still ourselves." And nothing is more reassuring than that. I love you, Corey, you are unstoppable.
Rachel- "Oh you." You are kickass. Also, you are damn good at everything you set your mind to. You and I are people that can drop our defenses around each other...and for me personally, being able to admit my weaknesses to you and admit my mess-ups and my misconceptions and have you be able to do the same is just...reassuring of the best qualities in life. In understanding ourselves, you and I have become much stronger. Laser is mute without you. I love you, as of right now, you are the friend I most feel like I will keep in touch with for the rest of my life. Brownies for us.
Monica- You are the diva. The time has come for you to select a career in which drag queens can masquerade as you. "Anthropologist" is a pretty shitty selection, Monica. You and I have so much fun together whether we're chatting about how fucked up we are (which can take a long time) or we're going to the Gap and trying on everything in sight but not purchasing anything. I love you, and if it's not too much to ask, if you ever discover some weird-ass relic in like...Mozambique, could you name it after me? I wlll totally repay the favor and buy you Starbucks.
Sarah- You are wonderful. I feel like I've known you forever but in the past year, you've become just one of my favorite people ever. It's great hanging out with you because you are always up for having a good time and laughing at how stupid some things are. I love you, you Xanga fiend... remember when you got hit in the face with a juice box? I'm still laughing at that.
Andy- You are a bitch, but you must be my favorite bitch. I say that even though you've beaten me to "shotgun" enough times for me to purchase one and cap you with it. I've acquired a love for the slurpee because of you...but it's a happy addiction. I love you, but I don't want to go to the gun show.
Feej- You are sexy-cool. I've hung out with you quite a bit over this summer, and you've never ceased to be fun. You also make me laugh (like a lot), and so I have to bow down to you in that respect. You make ice cream all the more sweeter, Feejie. I love you...and the day you want to storm into my office (or dorm) wearin' that sultry red dress with a case for me to crack...I'm ready to burst into song for ya.
Joe- You aren't the same, but you are not alone. I didn't ever think I'd stoop to saying this line but...what a long, strange trip it's been. I don't know where we left off or what's going on right now...all I know is every time we've talked, it seems like both of us have instinctively opened up in ways we didn't expect. It also seems like both of us tend to skew our visions of one another once we're too wrapped up in our own neuroses. I hope you're learning to be yourself no matter what. I don't know what's in the road ahead for us...though I can say I don't want you to depart entirely. I love you, Joe, the times where we've connected are priceless... though I guess sometimes an armadillo has just got to roll up into a ball and leave anything and everything else behind. How very, very sad. But you don't make me sad. You make me remember why I want to be a writer...to connect with people in a big way. Smile, Joe D. The rest of the world beyond under that rock you're scared of leaving isn't so bad after all.
Amanda- You are the coolest. The game of Trivial Pursuit became twenty times more bad-ass this summer because of you and your chips and salsa and your trash-talkin' self. Your intelligence is absolutely refreshing...you are neither judgmental nor ambivalent...you use your opinions in the best way possible, and you express yourself so naturally and so magnetically. I love you... God, you are so high-fiveable.
Eric- You are my brother. Your straight-forward approach to life and your down-to-earthitude (that's like an Alanis word) are so easy to love and so easy to connect with. The drama trip days will soon be the glory days of high school. Of course I still cannot thank you enough for listening when I'm purging myself of my ridiculousness...whether it be online at 2AM or at 6AM in a hotel by ISU. I am always here for you as well. I love you, you little puppy bastard.
Kaylin- You are the one-armed bandit of my heart. Of course I've had many of my favorite times while hanging with you in groups...but I do have to acknowledge a certain time when you drove me back from Elyse's dad's house the night before Christmas Eve...I didn't plan on laying it all on the line that night, but thank God I did because you were recpeptive, perceptive, and realistic. I cannot thank you more for putting up with my ranting then. I love you, Kaylin...hey who misses Cinema II?!
Mike Sherry- You are bad-ass. Eric noted and I agreed that you get cooler every time we see you. Not only that, you're also damn easy to talk to...oh the amount of times we've been up online chatting about the bullshit happening around us. What remains is that we are both cooler than any of that crap. From the moment I heard that Harry A. Kagan voice for the first time, I knew that there was something special and different and fucken awesome about you. I love you, and...Jesus, just keep doing what you're doing, Mike. You're untouchable.
Erin- You are saucy. I've used that word before and I insist on using it again. You and I are absolutely on the same wavelength when it comes to...talking things out and realizing that through connecting with others, we can forgive ourselves for our shortcomings. Also, I would easily call you one of the funniest people I know. "It's bath time" and "Follow the trail of cookie crumbs" are making me hypervenalate as I write this. I love you oh so much, thank you for everything...including that very special Big Gay Coffee Drink in November. I am going to cry now.
PT- You are...??? I've decided that by this time, you must read this goddamn journal. If you don't...I don't even know what to say. I've never actually stated something to you that didn't have a false motivation behind it...so I figured this was the time to try something new. I hope the next year doesn't make everything blow up in your face in a bad way, and if it does and I'm the one who provoked it...well damn, I'm sorry. We both had it coming.
Kinga- You are a supermodel. Oh man, my level of psyched-ness is just raising as I write this. Hopefully college will be the time where we can connect and shop in a whole new way. You still have yet to meet Todd...can't wait for that. Your energy is electric, your style is impeccable and your stats ability about equals mine. Leslie, beware. I love you, let's continue where we left off.
Louis- Yes, I'm talking to you (me). How often you have been lost in your own self-analysis and the analysis of the things around you. How often you have decided others could make you feel desirable and how oftwn you have been crueler to yourself than you have to others. It's a whole new ballgame now with a shitload of new experience on the horizon. You've always got the kickass people around you and any Madonna cd you want to cheer you up. But you are still one happy kid, and you deserve credit for staying afloat during a schoolyear where stability seemed ions away. For every Catherine Deardurff who'd have you believe that self-acceptance and understanding aren't the keys to happiness, you've found hundreds more people who have proven the beauty of connectedness. I love you, Louie V. Throughout everything, you have been yourself. How refreshing.
And that's all she wrote for now...expect one more entry before I pack up and become an official Hawkeye. Would sure be great if I knew where my schedule was or where the hell I could find the password to my online account. Anyway, it's been so long a time leading up to this...all systems are go. I'm ready for the future. Rock me, Iowa.
Louis.
PS. To anyone I didn't mention, I appreciate you reading along. You guys complete the deadjournal circle and keep the energy and the love flowing...no one should be left out. Not even Samson.
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